(May 30, 2008)
i woke up feeling okay, i went out feeling uneasy, i went home feeling like shit. i walked home, i tried not to think. not even the bites that i inflicted myself with is able to ease the pain in me. somehow the heart is hurting more than trying to rip a slice of my flesh off my hand.
avoidance is not even an option, it's something that must be done, must be carried out. i need to avoid no matter what others say.
i am sad and i am not okay. if i smile, if i laugh, i hope it will last.
thank you wes for that little hang out at your place. thank you lina, ben, paul, hajar, weejee and jared the best smile boy because for that short 2hours or so i felt like myself again and i enjoyed the karaoke session, screaming our lungs out, rapping to love songs. and you lousy people lost your voice.
right now, i just wanna stop playing aerosmith on my itunes and complete my grey's anatomy. i don't want my night to end up with even more not-so-happy-songs and i don't wanna wake up thinking of you later on. i hope i do not need to see you later so i won't feel that my life is pathetic but another part of me tells me that i will feel even worse if i don't get to see you. oh well, typical.
"wouldn't it be nice if the world's cadbury"
i just wanna continue seeing you smiles because it's addictive.
avoidance is not even an option, it's something that must be done, must be carried out. i need to avoid no matter what others say.
i am sad and i am not okay. if i smile, if i laugh, i hope it will last.
thank you wes for that little hang out at your place. thank you lina, ben, paul, hajar, weejee and jared the best smile boy because for that short 2hours or so i felt like myself again and i enjoyed the karaoke session, screaming our lungs out, rapping to love songs. and you lousy people lost your voice.
right now, i just wanna stop playing aerosmith on my itunes and complete my grey's anatomy. i don't want my night to end up with even more not-so-happy-songs and i don't wanna wake up thinking of you later on. i hope i do not need to see you later so i won't feel that my life is pathetic but another part of me tells me that i will feel even worse if i don't get to see you. oh well, typical.
"wouldn't it be nice if the world's cadbury"
i just wanna continue seeing you smiles because it's addictive.