(Jun 26, 2008)
Yumi, thank you. Once again, as always.
I'm somewhere between ignore and pretend. When something affect me, I either ignore or pretend to be happy. I don't pretend nothing happened because it just doesn't help me in any way. I just pretend to be happy. But Yumi made me realized something, "pretending is only temporary".
^o.O^ The world is a mirror of myself dying says: (2:53:40 AM)time never heals. only makes you get use to the shittiness
fionehneh: i was okay
fionehneh: for the past few days
fionehneh: to pretend
fionehneh: to be happy. to laugh because sometimes laughters works wonders.
fionehneh: but
^o.O^ i know
^o.O^ could hear the blatant laughters.
^o.O^ forcefully.
^o.O^ if it isnt you then why pretend
fionehneh: because it makes me better.
^o.O^ temporarily perhaps
^o.O^ think about what would really make you feel better
^o.O^ in the long term
fionehneh: because people ard me wont start to worry.
fionehneh: i only need to pretend for a few more days.
fionehneh: just couple more.
fionehneh: this is not a good month.
fionehneh: just when i thought i am handling it well, it crashed.
fionehneh: idk how you can ignore everything that is bothering you. i wish i could too.
^o.O^ people around you worry because it is current. give it time and most of them start worrying about other current things and you become a memory. is it really worth it if all you're doing is just so that people around you would feel better, and not you? i think you need time alone to think and understand yourself more..
^o.O^ its a matter of practice.
I always learn something new from them (fellow MOIans) and that includes seeing true friendship. From how we can talk to each other like close friends though we seldom sit down and talk to how a sorry can make wonder.
Sometimes I'm really proud of ourselves. We quarreled, we get pissed off with each other, we walked out of the room and banged the door, we shouted over the phone and hanged up but we always talked it out, apologize and move on with zero awkwardness. Or we just let each other cool off and then talk as usual because we all know the dynamics of one another and always ended up laughing at how stupid the whole thing was.
I need to be myself again.
I'm somewhere between ignore and pretend. When something affect me, I either ignore or pretend to be happy. I don't pretend nothing happened because it just doesn't help me in any way. I just pretend to be happy. But Yumi made me realized something, "pretending is only temporary".
^o.O^ The world is a mirror of myself dying says: (2:53:40 AM)time never heals. only makes you get use to the shittiness
fionehneh: i was okay
fionehneh: for the past few days
fionehneh: to pretend
fionehneh: to be happy. to laugh because sometimes laughters works wonders.
fionehneh: but
^o.O^ i know
^o.O^ could hear the blatant laughters.
^o.O^ forcefully.
^o.O^ if it isnt you then why pretend
fionehneh: because it makes me better.
^o.O^ temporarily perhaps
^o.O^ think about what would really make you feel better
^o.O^ in the long term
fionehneh: because people ard me wont start to worry.
fionehneh: i only need to pretend for a few more days.
fionehneh: just couple more.
fionehneh: this is not a good month.
fionehneh: just when i thought i am handling it well, it crashed.
fionehneh: idk how you can ignore everything that is bothering you. i wish i could too.
^o.O^ people around you worry because it is current. give it time and most of them start worrying about other current things and you become a memory. is it really worth it if all you're doing is just so that people around you would feel better, and not you? i think you need time alone to think and understand yourself more..
^o.O^ its a matter of practice.
I always learn something new from them (fellow MOIans) and that includes seeing true friendship. From how we can talk to each other like close friends though we seldom sit down and talk to how a sorry can make wonder.
Sometimes I'm really proud of ourselves. We quarreled, we get pissed off with each other, we walked out of the room and banged the door, we shouted over the phone and hanged up but we always talked it out, apologize and move on with zero awkwardness. Or we just let each other cool off and then talk as usual because we all know the dynamics of one another and always ended up laughing at how stupid the whole thing was.
I need to be myself again.